How to Flirt With Your Crush: 13 Steps (with Pictures) - wikiHow (2024)

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Co-authored byCher Gopmanand Hannah Madden

Last Updated: May 24, 2024References

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1. 1

   Open with an interesting first message. A simple message like “hey” or “what’s up?” is easy to type out, but it might not lead to a very interesting conversation. Try to open up with a funny line, a goofy picture, or an inside joke between the two of you.^[1]

   • For example, try finding a funny picture of an animal with a goofy expression. Send it to your crush along with the line “this reminded me of you” for a playful, funny message.
   • Or, find a song that makes you think of your crush and send it to them. Ask them to listen to it and see what they think about it.
   • You could also try an opener about something that happened earlier, like, “Did you see what Mr. Hendrix did today in science class? Worst. Beatbox. Ever.”
2. 2

   Ask your crush questions about their life. You want your crush to feel good about themselves, right? One easy way to do that is to keep the conversation (mainly) focused on them. Ask questions that can’t be answered with a simple yes or no, and avoid topics that are too heavy or might cause an argument. Be comfortable talking about yourself, but don't forget to ask them some basic, non-threatening questions that they can easily talk about, like:^[2]

   • "So I hear you're a finalist for the district science project? Congratulations! What's your project about?"
   • "I'm new to this part of town. What do people around here usually do for fun?"
   • "Have any plans for summer break? I think I just might die if I have to stay in my house the whole time."

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3. 3

   Compliment your crush on something they’re proud of. It wouldn't be flirting without a compliment or two. Complimenting tells your crush that you notice and value what they do. Try to stay as casual as possible when you compliment, and pick something that they might be happy about, like an accomplishment or an achievement.^[3]

   • Try lines like, “You killed it in your soccer game tonight! Maybe you could show me how to score a goal sometime.”
   • Or, “Congrats on getting the highest grade on the math test! I’d love to learn some of your study tricks.”
   • Or even, “Your art project looked super cool hung up in the hallway. How long did it take to make?”
   • Try to stay away from cheesy pick-up lines, because they’re hard to respond to.

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   John Keegan is a Dating Coach and motivational speaker based in New York City. With over 10 years of professional experience, he runs The Awakened Lifestyle, where he uses his expertise in dating, attraction, and social dynamics to help people find love. He teaches and holds dating workshops internationally, from Los Angeles to London and from Rio de Janeiro to Prague. His work has been featured in the New York Times, Humans of New York, and Men's Health.

   

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   A good compliment should be relevant to the moment and the person. Be flirtatious, but show that you see the other person with a thoughtful comment or by noticing something interesting about them.

4. 4

   Tease your crush just a little bit. If you're on friendly terms with your crush, don't be afraid of teasing them a little as a way of flirting. Make sure that they know you're teasing, being ironic, or sarcastic by adding in an emoji or an LOL—over text, it can be hard to tell whether or not someone's being serious.^[4]

   • Tease them gently about something they're good at/confident about. If your crush is a star athlete, try saying, "So how many extra goals is your team going to score when they don't have you on the field?"
   • Or, you could say, “With the high grades you get, I’m starting to wonder if you’re bribing the teachers!”
5. 5

   End the conversation on a high note. Don't be afraid to cut the conversation short if it's going really well. It's better than leaving the conversation when there's nothing to say or something wrong was said. Leave your crush wanting more rather than wanting less.^[5]

   • At the end of your conversation, say something like "You're fun to talk to — text me later?" or "See you tomorrow at school?" to build on the progress you made.
   • If your crush stops replying to you, don’t assume that they don’t like you. They might have gotten busy, fallen asleep, or accidentally let their phone die.
   • Reader Poll: We asked 306 wikiHow readers what do they do when a crush doesn’t respond to a text, and 56% said they would wait patiently for them to reply. [Take Poll]

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1. 1

   Make eye contact and smile while you talk. These are two of the biggest rules of flirting. You communicate so much with your eyes and your lips, and they're some of your most flattering features. Use them to your advantage!^[6]

   • Look into your crushes eyes a little more than is comfortable. It's hard to do, but it sends the signal that your crush is irresistible—something everyone wants to feel like. However, staring at someone for too long can make them uncomfortable, so don’t overdo it.
   • If you want to send a stronger signal, try glancing down at your crush’s mouth every now and then to send the message that you want to kiss them.
2. 2

   Open with a question or a compliment. Conversation starters are just ways to get the conversation going, so they shouldn’t be anything too heavy. Try opening with a question or a compliment to get your crush talking. For example:^[7]

   • "That dress looks great on you. Where did you get it?"
   • "Are you going to the firework show this weekend? It’s supposed to be really fun!”
   • "You seem like a math whiz. Can you help me do this algebraic equation?"
3. 3

   Introduce yourself if your crush doesn’t know you. You can do this after your conversation starter (it's pretty casual, and very cool), or you can use the introduction as the conversation starter. Remember to smile and hold their eyes as you introduce yourself!^[8]

   • Keep your introduction simple by saying, “Hi, I’m Georgia. I don’t think we’ve met before.”
   • Or, “My name’s Frank. What’s yours?”
4. 4

   Keep the conversation topics light. As you two chat, stick to subjects that are easy to talk about and hold your crush's interest. If you’re not sure what to talk about next, consider asking them about their classes, their hobbies, or your mutual interests.^[9]

   • Try something like, “So how do you think you did on the English test today?”
   • Or, “I was thinking of going rollerblading this weekend. Have you ever been?”
   • Or even, “I’ve been watching that new show You on Netflix. Have you seen it?”
   • Avoid sticky subjects, like politics or religion, unless your crush invites the conversation.
5. 5

   Touch your crush’s arm throughout the conversation. Giving your crush a gentle touch on the arm or hand is a great way to signal that you’re interested. If you’re laughing at a joke, reach out and gently pat their forearm. If you’re sitting close enough, rest your hand gently on theirs, if you feel comfortable doing so.^[10]

   • Try not to overdo it by touching your crush too much. Keep your hand held on their arm for just a second, then pull away.
   • If your crush pulls away from you or doesn’t seem comfortable with you touching them, don’t push it. Some people don’t like being touched, even by people that they know.
6. 6

   Throw in some compliments to make your crush feel good. Pick out something you know your crush is proud of and give them a compliment about it. Try to choose something that they can control, like their hobbies or the sports they play, rather than a compliment on their physical appearance. Try compliments like:^[11]

   • ”The question you asked in class today was really on point!”
   • ”Your science project looks really cool. How long did that take you?”
   • ”I saw you in gym class today, you were nailing those free throws!”
7. 7

   Wind down your conversation after a few minutes. Flirty conversations are best kept short to leave your crush wanting more. You can find an excuse to leave or ask your crush to hang out and talk again later when you both have more time.^[12]

   • Say something like, “Well, I’ve gotta go help my friend with some homework. What are your plans after school tomorrow?”
8. 8

   Ask your crush out on a date, if you feel like you’re ready. If your conversations have been going good and you feel like it’s the right time, you can ask your crush to take it to the next level. Ask them when they’re free and set up a time for the two of you to hang out on your own. Try to pick a public place with a casual setting to keep the pressure off.^[13]

   • Try saying something like, “Hey, are you busy this coming Saturday? I have a couple tickets to that movie that just came out."
   • Or, “I was thinking about going to that taco truck that just opened up. Do you want to come with me?”
   • Or even, “I really liked talking with you today. Do you want to hang out this weekend sometime so we can chat more?”
   • You don't have to call it a date if you don't want to. Just ask the other person to join you in what you're doing. If your crush asks you whether it's a date, then you can say it is.

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